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In Memory of Mary - April 13
Damm - I was not going to do this, crying I thought was behind me. Then today I was moving some books and a card, sent a few months after Mary’s passing, fell to the floor. It was from one of Mary’s college day friends who had been on her ‘mailing list’. She says it all about Mary. I will be in-transit to Cape Town SA on April 13 and I will be thinking of her and how we had planned a similar trip about 4½ years earlier.
“Dear David,
We haven’t met, but I did chat with you briefly before talking with Mary the day before she died.
Mary & I had lives that involved a close friendship during university days, and onwards, but since she moved west, contact became letters at Christmas and birthdays only, which is never as satisfying as ‘being there’. How much I admired her, from afar, not only for her work but for all the activities she held dear – not only the amazing adventures with you and your work, but also her skills on the ski hills, the tennis court. She had an amazing love of life, an endless energy to give it her all! I’m sure she approached her battle with Parkinson’s the same way, trying to keep ahead of it’s advancing disabilities by not giving in.
My comfort is knowing of the great life you two shared together, & her happiness through those years. The letter you sent on the day of her death moved me deeply. You were so sensitive to who she was; the beauty of her very soul; her selflessness; her incredibly contagious laugh; her mischief; her joy – and your words of loss and gratitude and admiration for all she meant to you, were very beautiful & loving. Thank you for sharing all that, for it gave me much happiness in learning of the happiness you both shared.
Most warmly,
Mary’s friend
May your days be warmed by loving memories of your times together.”
The card was around a personal photo of a sunset across a peaceful Georgian Bay. To Mary and most friends, life was honest, true to heart, totally trustworthy and few euphemisms – just honest statements. I am sure that is supposedly easier to process, to close the file.
David
P.S. I will be landing in Cape Town that day so it is now I am crying -- should it be so easy.!
(written April 4, 2019 - when I found the card.)
Hancock here - April 13 In Memory of Mary
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